Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Lies

In my anger, I make a post. Anger is a human emotion, jesus got angry, he just never sinned in it...neither am I.

Look. For you believers or non-believers out there, KNOW this. There is a Satan. He is trying to bring you farther away from God. One of his most affective weapons are lies. He will lie you up and down until you start believing that it's true.

Today I was going through the Truth Project with my small group and we were on tour 3. Today we talked about what evil is, and who is man. At the end of the session, we were talking about praise reports and prayer requests. After it was all over, I was there with my dad. I said to him,

"Makes you angry."

"What?," he said.

"The lies. It makes you furious at what it can do. Makes you hate him. We all know that there is a Satan and that he lies to us. But after going through that session and seeing lies pour out in tears from someones eyes...It makes me want to wage war."

Tonight, I saw one of my members cry. They cried over a lie. A lie that Satan was feeding them. They felt trapped, no hope, damaged self worth...and it all began to become more real. So real. Guys--it really pissed me off. For those who know me, I don't like getting angry about something. THIS...everyone listen...THIS is worth getting angry about. This is worth fighting over. The suffering that people are going through, feeling anxious, feeling stressed, feeling hopeless, FIGHT THAT! Pray for them, RIGHT then.

Everyone, This. Is. Real. his lies. are. real. They are breaking up families. They are splitting apart relationships. They are driving people away from GOD. It is breaking my heart. It is breaking. my. heart.

Please, start seeing the lies that he is feeding us. I urge you to start taking this seriously. Start getting angry at it.

Love you all. Peace


Sunday, January 17, 2010

This Pen

The dark, cool liquid pours out from the pen, again and again…it reminds me of when- I was younger and obsessed, so easily professed, like a badge or a crest, I wore it on my vest, piercing my chest, no way to stop it…unless…another came along. This was a song, a beautiful harmony of fairness and loveliness, a melody of artfulness, whisper of breathlessness. This pen, it flows…and it’s clear that it knows, the detail of the art, the beat from the start, the pain that is so often completely apart, of the glorious outpour, the tales of the heart.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Every New Day Seems So New

New day today, I could drag myself out...instead I stay. Wallowing in the newness, the rays of change. They melt the snow, the still seems so strange. I breathe in new air, new life, new hair. Ha, shave off that new part, open the word, get ready my heart. The new day consists of many small things. Beginning tasks, awaking from dreams. Groggy and clumsy I force open my eyes, still not ready to look at the light of the skies. But once its done and all is in sync, I sit in my chair and start releasing the ink--from the pen it flows and captures the thoughts. The feelings, emotions, the rivers, the oceans. They all start to flow. They grow and they grow. Until the light from the shades reminds me to blow---in and out, breathing you see. When you begin writing, even that isn't easy. You pour out your soul and satisfy only yourself. No audience to clap, no books on the shelf. This is the new day, ripe to renew. Just waiting to wake, just waiting for you.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Depth is True Beauty

I had a conversation with my dad tonight that brought me to tears. The depth of a person is the most beautiful thing of all.

Tonight I began to talk with my Dad about an area of his life that I chose not to touch for 16years.

My father married a week after he turned 21. As a young newlywed, he knew that he wasn’t very mature. His wife was older and had a good paying job. With my Dad pursuing his career, they lived very happily and didn’t think about kids. This is the part of the story that gets deep. My dad takes his wife to the hospital one day and is told that she has months to live. She died of cancer later on.

The shock wasnt that my dad had a first wife, or that she died very early in his marriage. I knew this. The shock was in the depth. I never touched this area of my Dad’s life out of respect. I felt that it was too hot to handle. Tonight that barrier was broken. I just dived into it. What I got in return was a picture of my Father that smashed all my emotions. I can only say how badly that would devastate me if it were to happen. My Dad gave me something, genetically, that I can never be rid of. We are both very emotionally tied to our sensitive sides. It is with each passing day that I find more of myself in him than I ever thought possible. I am getting closer to the age when marriage is a very real possibility. I’m not saying it’s soon or anything, just that I have thought about it….and to hear my Dad describe what he was feeling, what he did after she died, his journey to recovery 2 years later, and then finally meeting my Mom…I saw my Dad, as if seeing him for the first time. I couldn’t help but tear at this new experience that I was sharing with a man that I have spent my whole live with.

To you who have made it this far in reading…find your parents and spend some time with them. Get to know them as people, not authority figures in your life. Deepen the story that is this life we live, and the people we live in it with. The depth of a person is the most beautiful thing of all.

Thanks for reading. I hope you take to heart my story and the story that every parent holds…good or bad.


Sunday, January 10, 2010

New Semester in the Making

Classes start tomorrow. I think back on break and all that I accomplished...not too bad. So quick quick. It's like it whisked its way passed me so un-realistically. I am now beginning to embrace one of the hardest semesters I have yet to face. I thought last semester was difficult. I knew that this semester would be hard. I knew it. But I was trying to live all I could in the moment of the break so that I wouldn't have to think about it, ha.

It will be interesting, no doubt about it. I will be pushed to my limits and then some. And I will be better for it. I would rather get pushed to my "beyond" than not get challenged enough. I would rather be fully equipped to do what I need to, rather than, when the time comes, not know what to do. I am glad for the rigorous regime...but at the same time--and for a good reason--I run to God. I ask for his Son's strength, and I ask for the wisdom to handle everything according to his will in my life.

Should be a good semester. And like the one before it, I am shooting for the 4.0. Last semester I was shy by a little, but I feel that if I apply myself and keep in mind what needs to be done..AND DO IT, then I should be able to grab that no problem.

Your prayers are MORE than welcome at my front door and I will try my best to see you all throughout the semester. Peace.


Saturday, January 9, 2010

Words, words, words

Your beauty is everywhere. It breathes like a gust from the coast, like a song with the most, it covers all worth to boast. Your beauty stretches across the skies, beyond the rolling waves, past the gull she flies. This word that describes, it works and it tries–failing to capture all that you are, like trying to say you’re as bright as a star…the justice is lost when you’re not near but far. Words, words, words, I wrap them in a gift, like emotion still badly needing to sift, through holes in your hands they fall o’ so swift, how do I convey that a sunrise causes my heart to skip. In awe here I stand, wondering how you worked this all with your hand, it’s the absolute farthest thing from bland, standing here…I’m just a speck of sand. Words, words, words are all that they are, strokes of your brush, hush from afar…

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Starting anew, starting now.

Well, I just came back from Passion2010 and I am pretty happy. the illation is due to the level that I know my God at. Finding out who God truly is and what he has for me brings me joy. Finding out that he is a Jealous God and he wants my praise brings me joy. Finding that passion that has been within me all along brings me joy. My bliss is only matched to the God I serve. I can only imagine how happy he is that I am starting to live more for Him now. And I know you think it’s a hype you get with a conference…there is that. It exists, and I know it. Eventually, I will come down from the high. But what if I don’t? What if I make it my goal to not release the high from my life? What if instead I replace my character with the character of Christ and start living as he did? What if I DO THAT! Think about it. I don’t have to return to my mediocre, life of sin. I don’t have to sleep in all day and waste precious time that I could spending with God. I don’t have to replace other things with the Love of Christ – which fills ALL gaps in my life. I don’t HAVE to. Who says I do? So now I am going off to do some errands, talk with God on the way, and kick some fellowship tail with the God most High.