Monday, November 30, 2009

Lonely Booth...betrayed in every way.

Yesterday I met a woman. I was leaving from Apple to take a 1 hour break, and decided that subway would be my fix for hunger. I order my food, and sit at a booth. As I am eating I notice a woman just drinking a drink, but not eating anything. She looks pretty homeless and tattered, but I keep eating. I begin to have a very strange urge to go over there and talk to her, but I don't know what I would say. Then I realize that I have $5 in my pocket. I felt that I should help her out and buy her a meal. So I finish up with my food and go over to her booth and sit down. "Excuse me, mam." She doesn't move. I say it again. Nothing. One more time. She turns around and says sorry. "I hope this doesn't sound weird or anything, but I saw that you didn't have anything to eat and I was wondering if I could buy you something to eat." She politely declines and tells me that she is trying to hydrate herself because she hasn't had much to drink. She told me that she lives on the road and carries with her a roll bag and some other items. She began to tell me about her troubled life and everything that went wrong in her life. When I mean everything, I mean the good the bad and the explicit. This poor woman was betrayed by the church, her husband and every other male she came in contact with. The image of God was tainted by Priests, her image of men was tainted by her abusive husband, and her image of government was tainted by...our government. She had been played by everyone and hurt by most. She talked for over an hour and a half. I could tell that she hadn't had anyone to vent to about anything or even to just listen in a very long time. My heart cried for her, and so I pray that she will eventually see the love that people are capable of and once again be restored. I eventually had to leave to go back to work, so I let her know, and I went on my way...but not without being moved. If you ever see a soul that looks defeated, it just may be. Take some time, and ask them if they need anything from you. Why?! Because especially in this season, some peoples Christmas's are not that jolly. They are not filled with good cheer. They are ever reminded of their old life when their years were good and love was present. If you follow Christ, we should be helping people like her--Because we have MUCH to give. Spread it around people. Enjoy the day. Peace.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday

They have been waiting for hours, anxious anticipant. Their excitement is building to a point where they can't contain themselves. They know just where they will go and who they need to talk to. They have, A Game Plan. This day has been the one that they have been waiting for for many months. It doesn't come any better than this. *click* The Doors are swung wide, and in less than seconds the room is filled. I drag myself through the confusion and chaos, picking people who have fallen as I go. I race to my destination, not letting anything distract me, and OH are there temptations. A shelf here, and a shelf there, but NO. I race to my goal, not letting anything come between me and my prize. This is it, I see it in sight, I hit on the afterburners and stretch out to grab it. BAM! Months of waiting and its now mine. I ask someone to help me. As they place it on a cart for me, I check out, and walk out of Best Buy Happy, Secure and fully confident that it has been a good day...morning, now to wait 4 hours before the rest of the world gets up.

This is Black Friday. This is what some of the population does to get insane gifts for themselves and for others. I told you this story without giving away what was going on or where this gentleman was for a reason. This morning as I went out on a very ill-planned run (never again after Thanksgiving...ever) I thought about what goes through the average Black Friday Shopper's mind and came to an interesting thought. What if we thought this way about our walk with Christ? Would we be in a more INTENSE spot with Him? Would we have made crazy goals and done ANYTHING to reach them, striving for the last leg of the race to secure our prize? Think about it. I find it sad that people do this on Black Friday. Do you think God feels sad we don't do this everyday? Something to think about. No. Something TO DO! Go out and MAKE your walk with Him the best thing of your day. Period. I love you all.


Monday, November 23, 2009

Mind Games

Your words are the things I miss most. Hearing them in my day brings more warmth than a rising sun, than a glove in winter, than knowing you're the one, that makes my heart splinter. I have to know. The feeling inside has been long growing, flowing, conversation sowing, like a needle-back and forth, it only points north. It's the last thing I need, but the only thing I want. Do I sabotage my defenses? Put up a faulty front? I don't present to confuse, last on my list--but there are times when I wish love did not exist. Maybe not that, but games must fly. I'm not ready to deny, that my pain is in full supply. This is the conversation of my mind--how can you say that love is blind? It's out in the open, unconfined. With you it's simple. Beauty. Fully defined.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Apples Suck

Because they (Adam and Eve) ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they were given choice. Really you could call it the Tree of Choice. Before they ate from the tree, they only knew good: Gods creation and their relationship with HIM. You could say that things were easy because they didn’t know Bad, or even the concept of NOT doing something. Even when Eve ate the apple, she didnt know that she was doing something bad, she was following what satan told her. They didn’t know anything besides choosing good and living life with God. As soon as we ate from the tree we were given knowledge about good and evil and then granted the choice, “God or TV, God or Drinking, God or Lust, God or Wasting my time” Think about it. Before we were given this revelation, would it have been even a competition to choose God? NO WAY! God out weighs ANYTHING in comparison. Hands down–every time. BUT, the beauty in the fall is THIS VERY IMPORTANT THING. God gave us Choice. The beauty in the fall is that God can be glorified if only we CHOOSE HIM instead of all the crap we throw our way by choosing other things. Why do we choose idolatry over FULLY and 100% choosing God. That’s what it is people, putting other things over Christ and loving it more than Him. Idolatry. Swallow it. THINK ABOUT THIS. Are we seriously brining out the tipping scale to weigh out if God has the same or better importance than that video game, tv show, or music?? This is what the knowledge did for us. The ability to look at both and choose. Lets Glorify His name and MAKE WAR against these desires to choose other things. God reigns over it all. Lets be honest people.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

The Most Beautiful Thing Ever Written

No, this is not my interpretation of the most beautiful thing ever written. This is your interpretation, your perception, your conception.

What is the most beautiful thing you have ever experienced?

Beauty surrounds, in sounds, beneath mounds, it abounds in Love, in the foregrounds of smiles, resounds in profiles. Beauty camps out with joy, with awesome wonder, emotion deploy, morning whisper.

What is beauty to you? Is it the rise of new day glow? Water bending in its flow? Din of cities turned down low? Heavy blankets in December snow? What is beautiful, I want to know. Ask me, and I will echo. Hearing your voice say hello, the emotion in waiting till tomorrow, saying goodbye to sorrow, moving from much too fast to wonderfully slow. They say Beauty is in the eyes of the perceiver. What do you see? Is it her?

Saturday, November 14, 2009


It was today, November the 14th, 2009, that a sign in the Jimmy John’s restaurant opened my eyes. Before I let you know what it said
, let me do a bit of background. I have been severely debating whether I want to finish out my education in the fullest “masters” sense, which would take me to an awesome place in my education, because I have been thinking about some deep future things. I was considering stopping at my bachelors degree and jumping into youth ministry on a large scale. This is my dream. And I wanted to do what I wanted to do and what I truly feel that God has blessed me to do, but I was held back by paying off loans and getting a good job to pay off those loans. So starts the long battle with my family about, “Sometimes having to sacrifice to do those things later on in life.” and me wanting to do these things now. So I talked it over with some friends and ultimately felt worse in the end due to them saying things that made sense. Common, once you are set in what you wanna do, it takes some serious sense to kick you in the head and say, “HEY, WAKE UP!” And thats what it did…t
he sign. Now before I saw the sign, I had asked God for some guidance in this area. And he gave me an answer–a “sign” if you will….hehe…haha, oh man I am good. Anyway, I go to eat my delicious sandwich at Jimmy John’s, when I look at this sign on the wall that I have never seen before in my entire time of ever going there to eat….ever. It said, “If you do the things you need to do, when you need to do them, THEN SOMEDAY, you can do the things you want to, when you want to do them.” And it all came together. I had been told that by everyone before, but it was like a wake up call this time for some reason. And now I know that God wants me to go through with this. I can honestly say that he is telling me…hold on, your time will come. So I now have peace. Now I just have to pass my classes….next battle.

Friday, November 13, 2009

Internal Battle

Pitty weakness, the feeling inside of myself cannot be contained in one day. Overflow of emotion, decisions to be made.

Truth is above all forms of reason, with the season leaving, the choice can often be deceiving. Sometimes I feel I'm hard of seeing.

If I could just get passed the thick, trick the sick to leave for one second...maybe then this path might seem more destined.

Internal Battle, thats what I'll call it. The rhymes can only credit. The chimes can only transmit. Then why can I not commit?

Okay, read on into my deepest pleas. Try to delve into my soliloquies, watch my body as it drops to its knees--this is no tease.

I'm tearing in two, driving for You, want to redo, God make me new, show me how-to, how to pursue, your name a tattoo, I finally breakthrough.


There is more to the mind than one person can ever see on the surface, we need each other, this is a promise.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

An original.

There once was a boy named Paul,
Who was wider than he was tall.
He ate and he ate,
From noon, until eight,
Quick fast he then ran to the stall.

Thank You.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Beauty Full

This is the day that has been made for you, it sings from the blue, the bird as it flew.

Today, beauty rises up from the chill, it tries to instill the joy that you fill.

The beauty of today reflects the beauty in your eyes, the blue from the skies drips down and cries, because you are full of beauty, it is you--whole and complete, you melt the snow, love sorrow defeats.

Today, beauty arrives in true form, flowing lightly, like a leaf in a storm.

This is the day that has been made for you, a flower in spring, buds life anew.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Most Emotional Disney Songs of ALL Time

  1. When she Loved me–Toy Story 2
  2. Colors of the Wind–Pocahontas
  3. You’ll be in my Heart–Tarzan
  4. Circle of Life–Lion King
  5. Strangers Like Me–Tarzan
  6. Go the Distance–Hercules
  7. Two Worlds–Tarzan
  8. Part of Your World–The Little Mermaid
  9. I Will Go Sailing No More–Toy Story
  10. Deliver Us–Prince of Egypt (I know it was a Dreamworks Picture, but I thought it was sick awesome. This song is technically an honorable mention, but if it were a Disney song, it would be # 1 on an emotional scale, not a classic scale.)

Side note: If you see a lot of Tarzan, It’s because it is my favorite “Complete” soundtrack out of all the Disney films. As you can tell, I like many Disney songs, but As a whole I like this one the best. Also, the honorable mention, “Prince of Egypt” has some of the most emotional songs that I have ever heard, but is not Disney…still a great movie.

A Diction

This bug drapes across my bookshelf keep, climbs up steep, falls in a heap.
Would he mind if I let him live, on my bookshelf keep, counts like sheep.
My mind jumps across the room, like a baboon, I make a leap.
Red body, black spots, drapes my keep, eyes grow down, fall asleep.

This mundane low keeps pressing near, in my ear, can't you hear?
Deep inside it penetrates, saturates, it lives in fear.
A longing for the good to come, where has it gone? Not getting clear.
Dark cavern, bloody end, cornered deer, too late now, stuck in a gear.

I never asked for any of this, none of this, like a bad day, I'm pissed.
I never wanted this to be, draped in the sea, no way out for me.
I never asked for any of this, none of this, the pure, this I miss.
I never wanted this to be, draped in the sea, he got a hold on me.

Give me an out, before I shout.
Before I shout
before I Shout
Before iSHOUT!

This bug drapes across my shelf, simple life, perfect health
His worry is not getting smashed, just keep living life, over the filth...

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

A Letter to Satan

This poem is beyond any words that I can muster. I was so emotionally moved by this, I had to share it with anyone reading this. Be moved, be changed.

I thank God for this day

I thank God for this day. To often life fills over the top and we forget to do just that...thank Him. Do you think about it at all? All the hours that you don't talk to Him, all the time you could spend thanking Him? Think about how much better everything in between would be if you did. School, work, driving in traffic, dealing with someone aggravating, boredom, family issues, spouse issues, the doldrums of the day. Just think about you. Give things back to him. Today I was driving in my car, running a little bit late for work. The usual commute of blue skies and speedy cars. The boring scene of grey pavement passing beneath my tires and light poles wizzing by. Then a song came on the radio reminding me to thank God. A simple suggestion spurred by motivation to do just that. The next 20 minutes were spent thanking God for things in my life. Then a traffic jam hit me like a sucker-punch. WHAT!? Where did this come from. "Bad things will happen if I am late," I thought to myself. This was true as I was on final warning for attendance. Worried and confused as to what this jam was about, I prayed for God to get me through this. I was willing to do anything. 10 minutes to make it to work, with just about ten minutes of commute left, but the traffic continued. Desperate, I did some Italian Job maneuvering with my car and made it past the jam with 3 minutes left before my shift. I thanked God and ran into the building, clocked in, endured the day with a surprisingly good attitude, and clocked out ready to come back home for some exciting homework. It is in reflection that I can say that God tested me today, to see if I could give him the little things in life as well as the big things. I thank God for this day.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Bored At Home

I sometimes do random videos to hone my skills at video editing...well, I did another one. That makes.....6 Bored At Home videos that I've done, 3 out of the home, 1 of them 698 miles from home. Enojy:

Also, I may be writing a bit less because I am studying. sorry. Peace everyone.