The Top List of Things I’ll Miss About Having A Man Beard

1. Stroking the beard/fiddling with it when I’m pondering
2. Catching things that fall out of my mouth
3. Looking older
4. Being able to hang things off my face
5. Keeping my Chin warm
6. Beard + Pipe = Cool
7. Beard + Plaid Shirt = Awesome
8. Lumberjack Impersonations
9. Looking like a Viking
10. Looking like a Pirate
11. Feeling closer to my German Heritage
12. Hiding Facial Imperfections
13. Making Fun Designs e.g., Wolverine Chops, FuManChu, Creeper Stache, Goatee, Soul Patch
14. Saving money on razors
15. Keeping me Single

If you are wondering what this list is about, I think you know. the beard will be coming down within

the next month. Hilarity will follow.