The Month in Retrospect

Hey everyone. It seems that life passed by faster than I ever thought it could this December. It may be myself, but I was not able to keep a hold on this month, watching it careen by, waving as it passed. Many things happened this month, and I am full of stories. It is a shame that I cannot divulge them right now, but this month has been filled with trials and happiness mixed. I have payed back my parents, emptying my account, I have reconnected with God, I have reunited with my best friend from New Zealand, things with my guys small group are going well. God is blessing me to say the least. I am thankful, I really am.

With friends to back me up, with my faith on the rise, with my family looking on the up and up, I truly feel blessed. I am also finally taking on my responsibilities and letting no man dictate who I am meant to be or act. I am letting God be my role model and not letting the approval of others shape how I act to and around others. It has been a complicated trial that I have been going through, but it seems to be going well. 

I can't tell you how siked I am about FNBS (Friday Night Bible Study) right now. I feel that God is going to try and take back the hearts of the men in the bible study. I feel that He desperately wants that solid relationship that He desires in each and everyone of the men in FNBS. He has plans for them... I just ask that He show me the way to be the best example I can be: Be Christ. I ask that everyday be a new day in Him. That the first thing I know how to do in the morning is go to Him. That my only concern is if He would approve of my life. You God: Be my lifeblood.

Outpour Of My Weary Soul

Outpour 12-3-08

If it is the lies that I feed you that you want, I can willingly give them over to you for a flat rate. If it is just the pain and suffering that you seek, I offer plenty of this as well. My heart is open and I am giving to the lowest bider. The spinning wheel of fate holds my end game. The problem lies when I am not sure when the madness ends. Will it cease to circle? Why is it that every corner holds a man in black? Why is it that in every alley, there is a man who is ready to entice and steal the precious moments that are still mine? I want so desperately to hold onto them. I want so desperately to keep them close. Don’t take them away. But I know its not something he takes. It’s something I give away. Like a lamb to slaughter, I give it. Without trouble, without effort and without thought...I give it away. Again and again, time after time I give it. It is the insensible thing when we just give up everything for nothing, and yet this is what I seem to do time over time over time. The repetition of it is what makes me sick. Why? What provokes you, they ask. What does it give back in return? What do you gain?! For questions such as these, I am left without speech. Lost in the haziness and fog.

Today

http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=52410345859

This is where you can find out more about what I am writing about. As many of you who read this know, when something impacts me emotionally, my medium is writing. Whether that be poetry or just getting it out before I explode. This is what I made:

Today

Today steel and glass broke free from the frames,

the prisons that held them, controlled them, drove them.

Today drums were ringing, phones were singing, snow was falling,

falling down--outlining the wreck like a crime scene.

Today concern rang in, prayers weighed in, silence burned in,

into my memory--on loop mode, again and again.

Today tickets fell, money fell, tears fell,

hugs tell that love is stronger than green, stronger it seems.

Today never ends, it plays back again and again and again--

the same car, the same sound, the same wet and muddy ground.

Today was made by God, designed by God, crafted by God.

He knows the land ahead, and the dark behind, he knows my mind.

Today will melt like the snow, turn green and grow,

out of this only he will know, the direction this life will go.

Through Good and Bad?!

Praise God for whom all blessings flow. Praise the God who gives and takes away. You are Holy O God. Great is your faithfulness. 

Praises. How often do we give praise to God? Sunday? Saturday? Wednesday? When times are good? When you are blessed? When the cubs win the World Series? When? 

It is quite the thing to think about, praise. I feel that he deserves more than we give, but we don't feel right giving it in certain times. Bad times? REALLY?! Yes. Read the Bible. Believe it or not, he will work in you, no matter what times you are going through. The path may not be so "well lit," but he is there, ready for you to give up and lean on his faithfulness. He is sure to come-through. He is something to rely on when you need something firm and foundational. 

So how do we praise Him in the morning, praise him in the noon-time, praise him when we are young and when we are old? Habit, mostly. You start. The more you do it, the easier it will start to get for you. You will, I am sure of it, start to see the radiance in your relationship with God when you begin to revere Him, and thank Him. Go see for yourself today. Get into, not only the word, but into worship. Praise His Name. To quote a well known song..."So praaaaaaaaaaise His Holy Name. As long as I'm alive, I'll glorify His Holy name, Holy name."

Love and Peace to you.

EP

No Rules

So, alright. This is it. I wouldn't be much of a blogger if I didn't say what was on my mind at the given moment. You all get a treat, because not only am I going to outpour what happens to be on my mind, but it just might be controversial. 

Last night could very well be the most influential night of my life period. This night goes down in history for my life as the "turning point," the pinnacle so to speak, that changes everything...or so I hope. Last night, I was injected with the Holy Spirit. Last night, I made a decision. No Rules. Now before I explain that let me lay down some background for ya.

Two nights ago, Dana Morey, a very influential speaker within my church, gave a very compelling sermon at a Men's Retreat in Lawton, MI about living a spiritual life with no more rules. What he first told us to do was to create a list of things that we did, every day, that made us feel like we were at our best with God. A list of things that furthered our relationship with Christ. Things like, Read the Bible, Pray, Serve others, Accountability, etc. Then he collected them. After that he read them off and asked us, "If you do everything in Dan's list, is that it? Is this the way? Okay, how about Noel's list? If you do everything that Noel has down, do you have it right?" Each list he crossed off as we chanted "no."And then he asked, "About how often do you feel that you accomplish your rules to get to Christ?" We came up with a round about answer of about 15%. Fifteen percent. Surely, this is getting us the results that we desire. No? Why do you think that is? Are you happy going to your list of "must do's" and "have to's?" God calls us to have a relationship with him.

Now, Dana is not calling us to go screw everything that we are doing. No. What he is saying is that the rules that we are setting out for ourselves to engage in Christ are not enough. Not even close. What we need to do is One Thing. Live in the Holy Spirit. Be Christ. Our rules are thrown right out the window if we just Live in the Holy Spirit. Brothers in Christ? BE CHRIST! Be perfect? No. Walk so closely to the Rabbi that you are spotted with the dirt of his feet. Brothers, if we are living in the Holy Spirit, and I mean LIVING, THRIVING, FEEDING, the very breath you BREATHE is CHRIST, then your rules are no where to be found. Rules about how to pray and what to say in prayer, rules about how to get into the word and when to do it, rules about what is right and what is wrong, rules about what is righteous and unrighteous, rules about everything pertaining to your walk in Christ. No Rules. The free'er we are from the rules that we hold so tightly to, the more we are able to just come to God and let him work in us. The more able we are to flat out be Christ.  

If you feel this is you, if you feel that your way of coming to God has been flawed from day one, you're not at all alone. I sat in a room with 19 to 86 year olds, all testifying to the inadequacy that was their personal walk in Christ. When we came together to make a declaration to Christ in prayer, and pray in unison that He would change us from the inside out, that He would meet us in that place and break down our rules, our conditions to follow Him (as if we had it all together on how to connect with Christ), that the Holy Spirit would descend into that room, and let me tell you guys something--The Holy Spirit is one of the only things I know that can make a grown man cry. We weeped and cried out to God, asking Him to move inside of us that night. I can honestly say to you who are reading this that I am forever changed. And I am not changed by what some men brought to the table, or by an idea that some guy had. I am changed by what God has in store for my life.

You want to know one the greatest Rule breakers of all time? It's God. He gives unconditional love to you. No conditions. No rules. Shouldn't we show the same love in our churches? Our Families? Our wives? Our children? Our friends? 

Guys, if you come out of this with anything, know this. I am not pining that everyone adopt this style of living, because it is a Life Action, no. I am saying that if you are feeling the gaps day after day after day in your walk with the Living God and you fall short of keeping the list of things that make you feel right with Christ, then walk a different road. I am sick of the 15% more than you'll ever know. 15% sums up my whole life of following Christ. I want more. Do you?

Courtesy of Dana Morey, Jim Langkamp, and Steve Van Denend

Sometimes the Lemons taste good

So....I am moving to Montgomery very soon. Saturday to be exact. Yeah...it's crazy! Don't get me wrong, I am beyond siked to get into that house. My neighbors in the culdesac-town-home-complex couldn't be any weirder.  No, I will be eagerly awaiting when I finally get to sleep in my room with the middle-of-nowhere stars above our roof. Sometimes in life, the lemons can taste quite good. Change isn't always that bad in every situation. I have experienced more bad change than good, but it feels soothing to relish in the fact that this change is going to relieve tension. My family will all be together, I will be working with my sister and her boyfriend, Randy, at the Apple Store, I will be heavily involved in our newly created youth group, Pulse, and I will be easily finishing up the 1st semester at the new university I thought was going to be pretty hard. 

In this case the lemonade couldn't taste better. I know that things will eventually throw me for a loop, its life--it wouldn't be that interesting if it wasn't. But I feel that I am glad I am where I am as of now. It helps me to know that my friends will always be there for me, my family will never stop loving me, and my God will never stop being the same God. All signs go? Not quite. My only job now is to repair the only relationship that is above the rest--the one that I left hanging a few weeks back--it's with my Father in Heaven. All I pray for now, is that he doesn't pull a Job on me.

No Words

The content today is not much, but I feel the weight of the speech is justified. I just want to bring it out that I love everything I can every say about my God. And when I say my God, I meant the God that I have gotten to know over my whole life. The same God that showed up into my life when I was a pimple ridden, over weight, 13 year old in the lonely place of my heart. This God is the same yesterday, today, and 10 years down the road when I have new problems on my plate. So what is this blog today? This is a shout out to my man in the sky. My Father in Heaven, who has my back everyday of the week, whose love heals all lacerations of my soul, whose grace doesn't make sense. Yeah, this may not relate to you in anyway and you may not get a word I am saying, but it isn't me who usually does the talking. I leave that to God. May his love speak to you in a way that no words could ever. Have a blessed day.

Juggle What?

For most of you who know me very well, you know that I am more than busy as of late and I have fulfilled my time with small groups and other nightly activities (they take place at night). For those who don't, well I basically only have one day pretty much to myself. I am a godly man, and as such I make an effort to include God in everything that I do. What can I say, I love him. He is my everything. He is the seal upon my heart and the fire within my words. I try not to do much speaking and just let my "living" do the preaching. Anyway, so I make sure that in the morning I spend time with God, and then do work that school assigns me, and then Mon, Wed, Fridays I usually help out Dan Beckvar for mucho money. Every night except Thursday I seem to be doing some kind of small group or Youth ministry. It's what I love to do. Its what I am passionate about. The only thing is, it is starting to get a bit out of control. School work is catching up on me after about a month of nothing, filling in my free days with paid work is taking away from school, and nights are when school work can be done best sometimes. Not to mention that if I want to spend time with God, which is more important to me than anything, I have to get into bed at around 10pm, no exceptions. This leaves about.....no time. 

It is obvious in my endless wisdom that I am going to have to shut down some of the opportunities that have come up in this time. The question I pose is this: Which small group means less to me? Which do I feel is not picking me up? At least it seems as if this is the question I should be asking. You see, with all this busyness, I leave no room for things to happen. If someone wants something to happen, it most likely would not be able to fit within my ALL IMPORTANT SCHEDULE.  No, it is without a doubt that some trimming will have to take place. All I ask within this is some prayer to decide. My family is trying to sell their home, so that would need some prayer as well. We are paying two mortgages and it is killing us.